” Just asked to be a best man and feeling a bit overwhelmed about where to start? This checklist lists all of the must-dos for the best man.”
It’s truly an honour to be asked to be best man in a friend or relative’s wedding. You’re a significant VIP to the soon-to-be-married couple and are being entrusted to take on the best man duties and responsibilities during the wedding planning process, as well as on the big day itself.
You are wondering what a best man does? Feeling a bit overwhelmed about where to start? We’ve got you covered. Essentially, a best man is the groom’s go-to guy (or girl, if he’s having a woman of honour) and confidant throughout the whole engagement and wedding. A best man’s duties include planning the bachelor party, making sure the groomsmen attire is ordered, organized and to the couple’s preferences, delivering an epic best man speech at the reception, being a model wedding guest (RSVP-ing on time, reserving travel and hotel with the room block early) and so, so much more. So if you’re looking to ace your best man duties, and be the BEST best man ever—let this checklist be your guide.
Here are all the best man duties & responsibilities for before the wedding, and on the big day.
Best Man Duties Before the Wedding Day
1. Provide moral support during the ring selection
Even though you haven’t officially been asked to be best man yet, there’s a good chance your best bud will ask for your help with selecting an engagement ring. Whether you’re a ring novice or a diamond expert, provide your honest opinion as the groom chooses the rock, but as gently as possible. Purchasing an engagement ring can be a stressful process—your job is to be a voice of reason if needed.
2. Lead the groomsmen
Once the couple is officially engaged, date and venue have been set, and you’ve been officially asked to be best man, it’s time to introduce the groomsmen (a fundamental best man duty). If you all know each other, that’s great, but if not, it’s the best man’s job to introduce everyone. If you all live nearby, set up a time for everyone to grab a drink together and get acquainted. If you’re in different parts of the country or world, start an email chain or group text to start the conversation.
3. Shop for formalwear and coordinate purchase
As the best man and official “leader” of the groomsmen, you’ll not only assist the groom in picking out everyone’s formal wear (Tux or suit? Necktie or bow tie?), but also make sure that each groomsman orders his attire in a timely fashion—or if you’re renting or purchasing as a group, you’ll make sure the order is submitted and collect payment from everyone. And don’t forget about the alterations! One of the often-overlooked best man duties is to ensure that the groomsmen’s suits are all received AND tailored.
4. Serve as counsellor and confidant
Planning a wedding can be stressful, and the groom will need to rely on his best man to help him make decisions and solve problems. One of the most prominent best man duties? Be a supportive friend throughout the process—even if wedding planning isn’t necessarily your thing.
5. Coordinate travel and accommodations
If you and the groomsmen will be travelling to the wedding, make sure that everyone books, flights and hotels in a timely fashion. The couple will have likely arranged hotel room blocks and accommodations for out-of-town groomsmen, bridesmaids and wedding guests, so jump on these as soon as they become available. If feasible, you can even help pair up groomsmen to share hotel rooms or rental cars to help everyone save some money.
6. Plan the bachelor party
It’s the best man’s responsibility to organize the bachelor party, with the help of fellow groomsmen. Talk to the groom in advance about the type of bachelor party he envisions. Does he want to travel or stay closer to home? Does he want a wild party or something a bit tamer? Work with the groomsmen to plan a night or weekend that suits the groom’s style—not your own. Also, be mindful of everyone’s schedules and budget. A trip to Vegas might sound like fun, but if certain groomsmen don’t attend because they can’t afford it, you might want to come up with a plan that works for everyone.
7. Help the guests
Guests may look to you for assistance if they have questions about the wedding. While you don’t have to memorize the entire wedding invitation and schedule thoroughly, it’s a good idea to know the couple’s wedding website address to provide to guests—most of the answers they seek will likely be listed on the wedding website.
8. Attend pre-wedding events
You probably won’t take part in planning the engagement party, rehearsal, or rehearsal dinner (but maybe you will!), but you should still try to attend all these events. The most important of these to visit are the ceremony rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, both of which usually takes place the day before the wedding and will iron out any last-minute scheduling and details.
Part 2 of this series can be found here.
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